Critical voice is a well-integrated pattern of destructive thoughts towards ourselves and others. The voice can become dominant in our daily lives, continually transforming itself into inner dialogue, where we split ourselves into two parts: the Critic and the Listener. Soon we catch ourselves doing things we have never done before, like binge eating or drinking, to soothe the mental pain. Instead of being led by one’s core values, the person who obediently listens to this voice no longer acts in their own self-interest, simply because the Inner Critic stubbornly discourages them to do so. One no longer lives a fulfilling life inspired by one’s values. Distancing themselves from the life of purpose and meaning, the person might also distance themselves from their partner, or threaten relationships with significant others. They could also have problems in everyday performance and productivity at work, suffer from low self-esteem, become increasingly distrustful in themselves and others, turn to alcohol and substance abuse, etc.
Pain is part of life, companion of many important life events, a clear sign that something demands our attention, a conspicuous signal that something is wrong or not quite right, and an invitation that we should ask for help. Pain might be physical or mental/psychological. Psychological pain is sometimes defined as “the affective state associated with discrepancy between ideal and actual perception of self.” Psychological pain is tied to any form of inner suffering or intense unpleasant feelings (e.g. guilt, fear, loneliness, panic, helplessness, despair). Suffering can be caused by frustrated psychological needs, such as need for love, belonging, autonomy, success, etc. Fulfilling these needs is a drive to action—it can be big part of human motivation per se. However, personal meanings and the unique story of each person differ from one human being to another, even when the same or similar needs are not satisfied. So, suffering and pain of each person are specific: in order to understand something about them and to approach the inner core of their problems, we must first understand their life story. Psychological pain is at the heart of many psychological problems. In depression, the pain is often described as “physical,” which can further lead to an over exaggerated reaction to negative images and stimuli. Consequences might include feelings of unhappiness, guilt, ruminations, etc. Very intense pain could lead to suicidal thoughts and suicidal behaviors. The risk of suicide rises as general psychological and emotional pain becomes stronger. Suicide happens when the pain becomes excruciating—when it becomes intolerable—so the very act signifies escape from unbearable suffering.
Rage can be strong, rage can be toxic and dangerous and rage can be contagious. Rage attack as an outburst of anger is usually very hard to handle. When you are close to a person who is experiencing explosion of anger, it is extremely hard to find an appropriate way to tackle the situation. So … Continue reading Rage attacks: Where do they come from?
Online therapy is a new and exciting field. But sometimes it can be difficult to trust someone you’ve never met in person and seen only on the computer screen, even if he or she is a mental health professional. It is also called e-therapy, e-counseling, or tele-counseling. There are many resources on the Internet if … Continue reading Finding it difficult to start online therapy? Here’s why.